Birthdays Are a Good Time to Reflect and Look Forward

Today is my birthday (I won’t say which number) and between celebrating it with my wife tonight, I am spending some time reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the next year of my life.

You might be surprised to hear me say that tis past year has been a good year, specially if you heard or watched episode # 65 of my podcast, the #Defineyourself Podcast where it was relieved that my wife has been diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer that has spread to her bones.

Why has this been a good year?  As I look back at the past twelve months, I have surprised myself as how well I have handled the cancer diagnosis.   Of course, I went through the five phases of grief at the start: denial, anger, a little bargaining (okay begging to take the cancer for my wife), depression and acceptance.

The upside to the cancer, if there is an upside, is that I have seen what I am really made of.  Others may have walked out of that hospital room and said “the cancer is her problem” leaving their spouse to battle cancer alone.  I did not.  I stayed by her side day and night at the hospital (only returning home for 3 hours for a shower and to pack a few things during her week stay).

When she returned home, I went into advocate and protector mode.  I tool care of everything that she needed, and I pushed my body harder than I had in nearly twenty years.

I have attended every doctor’s appointment with her.  I have been by her side during every test and blood draw.  I have helped her as much as I can with mobility, and I have stayed up with her when pain kept her awake.

What impressed me the most about myself in the past year of my life has been my focused as changed – and to be honest it needed to be changed for years.

Most of our marriage has been slanted to being centered on my wants and needs.  Since Kim’s diagnosis our marriage focus, at elast for me, has shifted to Kim’s wants and needs. 

Whenever you look back at the past year of your life and are able to say, I have grown as a person to become a better person it has been a great year of your life.

In the next year of my life not only do I want to grow my business, I want to continue to grow as a loving and caring husband.  I want to do everything I can do to help Kim live the life she wants.  I want to do everything I can do to be by her side throughout this cancer battle because I do not want her to fight this alone.

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