A close-up view of a blue hot air balloon against a blue sky with a white cloud. Text over image in a bleu transparent box reads “Playing the Blame Game Limits Success.”. Near the bottom of the image in two shades of blue appears “#DefineYourself Beyond disabilities” against a white background. To the right, against a dark blue background appears the text “YOUR Defining Moment”

Playing the Blame Game Limits Success

Unsuccessful people in the disabled community have a unique way of thinking: they like to blame others or society for their lots in life. 

When unsuccessful people in our cmmunity fail to succeed because they were

  • overlooked for a promotion
  • rejected for every job they applied for
  • and/or rejected every time they asked someone out for a date or to be a friend,

they blame their lack of success on being discriminated against by those who they perceive to have power over them, and they may blame ableism and/or the ableist society for the discrimination they experienced.

They think that blaming others or society gives them power over the situation, when it is doing the opposite – they are giving their power to create success to an external force.

When unsuccessful people blame others and/or society for their lots in life, they are subconsciously telling themselves that they do not have any power over their future and others will determine when or even if they ever will experience success.

This metaphor best explains what I am saying: there are many roads out there, some that lead to success and more that do not.  You have keys to a car that you can drive and direct to your own path to success.  However, when you blame others and/or society for not achieving success, you are turning the keys of your car over to someone else.  When that is done, you are no longer the driver of your car, you are a passenger, and you are allowing those who you perceive to have power determine where you go in life and if you go anywhere.

So, if you are a person who tends to blame others for you lot in life and it is not getting you anywhere, take back the keys to success and start taking ownership of your life.

Remember: Do not give away your power.  It will be hard to get back.