If you are an autistic adult who needs a little extra support but not sure what you need or an ally of an Autistic adult who wants to know how to support our community and just does not know how, this article is for you.
Autistic adults, like every other disabled community, are not looking for a handout. We just want an equal chance to earn the success that we desire, deserve and our Allistic peers are achieving. For this to be a reality for Autistic adults, we need understanding and acceptance by others in our world.
Sure, there are people in the world who want to help, they just do not know how and there are Autistics who need a little extra support but not sure what they need.
here are 8 ways to support Autistic adults.
Please do not believe the stereotypes that exist about Autism and Autistics. Each one of us is different.
Misconceptions and stereotypes are very harmful to those of us on the spectrum, regardless of our age. They can, and often do, significantly harm Autistic adults by leading to social isolation, discrimination, limited opportunities, and negative impacts on our mental health.
This occurs because we may be judged based on inaccurate assumptions about our abilities and behaviors, rather than our individual strengths and challenges; this can prevent us from fully participating in society.
Remember what Stephen Shore said “If you have met one person with Autism, you’ve met one person with Autism”.
Expand Autistic Support networks beyond children.
Regardless of if you look online, or seek out referrals in your community, you are bound to find more information, resources and support options for children on the spectrum and their parents compared to what you may find for Autistic adults. This is somewhat understandable because our children is our future, and I have no problem with that. However, adults on the spectrum also need support – especially for those of us who suspect we are Autistic, self-identity as Autistic or are pursuing or have received a late in life diagnosis.
In recent years there has been a significant increase in late diagnosis of Autism in adults. Many believe this is occurring due to improved awareness of the condition, better diagnostic tools, and a growing understanding that autism can manifest differently in females and individuals who effectively “mask” their symptoms throughout childhood and adolescence
Every adult on the spectrum, regardless of if they received a late diagnosis, self-identify as Autistic or suspect they are Autistic (and in the latter 2 groups either can nut pursue a late diagnosis because it is either not covered by their insurance or they can not afford the out or pocket cost or choose not to pursue one for various reasons including social stigma) are struggling and need appropriate support.
One of my missions as the Confident Autistic, and one of the missions of my business, #DefineYourself, is not only help connect Autistic adults with resources that can support their life journey on the spectrum, but to also provide support for Autistic adults through coaching and other offerings.
Take the time to educate yourself about Autism.
Regardless of where you are on your Autistic journey, or an ally of Autistic adults, read EVERYTHING you can about adult Autism. I know this may sound a bit self-serving, but my website TheConfidentAutistic.com, and my YouTube channel The Confident Autistic are a good starting point for your education and a good resource to point in the right direction to credible sources of information.
Autism IS NOT a disease so please stop treating us as if we need to be fixed.
Autism is not a disease, that means it is not contagious, and it does not need to be cured. Autism is a neurological disorder that needs to be understood.
I see Autism as a culture as many would describe it as seeing the world and interacting in the world differently from others. Just as any other culture you may encounter in your lifetime. Just as Japan it is customary to bow to another person, where in the United States it is not, for some in the Autism community not making eye contact with another person is acceptable while Allistics prefer eye contact.
Please respect Autistics and pay us a fair amount for our labor.
Sadly, it is still legal for employers to pay disabled employees, including Autistics, a sub minimum wage rate – especially for those who are employed in work shelters for the disabled. Although I have seen some articles that the laws may change, and in my opinion, they should have never been allowed to pay disabled sub minimum wage, every person deserves fair pay for any work or service they provide to others.
Please understand that although there are some days we can mask our Autistic traits better than other days, the days we do not outwardly struggle we are still Autistic.
Although I am a big advocate for every Autistic person to take off their mask and be their authentic selves, I know that is often easier said than done. Many of us fear unmasking for several reasons including ridicule, judgement, discrimination, etc. Therefore, we become real good at hiding our authentic Autistic traits.
However, like everyone else, we have our bad days and for us our bad days often expose cracks in our masks where others can see our authentic Autistic traits. Because for those of us who can mask most days, those around us may think our Autism comes and goes. It doesn’t. Autism is always a part of who we are and our identity, please understand that.
Take our needs and accommodation requests seriously.
As stated earlier, each Autistic is a unique person which means what accommodations one Autistic may need another Autistic may not need while needing a different accommodation.
We are NOT asking for a accommodation for any reason than we truly need the accommodation to be met. Regardless of it is a dietary request or a request for the sound to be turned down, these are valid requests that will enable us to participate in activities or be more productive at work.
For some of us it takes a lot of courage to make that request because some of us are fawners, aka people pleasers who do not like to rock the boat or draw special attention to themselves.
Don’t infantilize us and be patient when we are struggling.
When you learn that someone is on the spectrum, do not start talking down to us and/or treating a Autistic person the same way you would treat a young child. It is humiliating and can cause Autistics mental harm. Instead, interact with the Autistic as if you would anyone else of that age who is not on the spectrum.
I can not emphasis this enough, if there is someone who is with the Autistic, DO NOT look at that person and say “Can he understand me?” Instead talk directly to the Autistic person, again in the same way you would speak to an Allistic persons you know.
When you see an Autistic person struggle to express himself or herself, please be patient. Try not to do things for us, instead wait for us to do them on our own.
Also, if we prefer an alternate way of communications (writing notes, texting, email, etc.) over vocal communications, please allow us to do so.
