You have a Bob the Bouncer that is preventing you from discovering, developing, and growing your self-confidence and you can change that by retraining your Bob.
The job of a bouncer at a night club is to let the right people in and keep the wrong people out of the club. When the bouncer does not have a guest list and guests do not have tickets, the bouncer will let people in who he thinks is the right fit for the club.
If you are new to the club and you want to get past the bouncer, you need to appear like everyone else the bouncer lets in and the bouncer at the club will let you in if you look and act the same as most everyone else who is there.
Your Bob the bouncer does the same thing as a night club bouncer does, his job is to let in the right thoughts and hold back the other throughs for possible further review or dismiss them completely.
The problem is that like the bouncer at the night club who does not have a guest list, your Bob the bouncer must use his own best judgment and decide what thoughts to let into your mind. Since our world (both in real life, on TV and on the Internet) contains more negativity than positivity, your Bob the bouncer believes that negativity is “normal”, and he should let in to your mind all the negative experiences from your life. Since there are fewer positive experiences in life than negative, your Bob the bouncer sees them as “abnormal”, therefore he questions the positive experiences from your life which results in Bob doing his best to keep what he considers “abnormal” from getting into your mind where you can use it to form a positive mindset.
To retrain your Bob the bouncer you need to start focusing in all the positive experiences in your life and in the world and stop focusing on, and looking for, all the negative experiences in your life and in the world.
This may require you to step back from all the negativity you see on TV, read on the internet (including social media) and experience by associating with people who are negative or anyone who tears you down.
By seeking positive experiences in your life and the world around you, you will be re-training your Bob the bouncer to do the same. Your re-trained Bob the bouncer will help you develop a positive mindset which will help you discover, develop and grow your self-confidence.